Have you ever sat in a football stadium during a moment of silence where it actually got deadly quiet? I have. Two weeks in a row. A football player from a nearby high school drowned jumping off a cliff a few weeks ago and his friend killed himself the next day. I was at their first home game after it happened, cheering on the other team. His sister wore his uniform and walked out with the captains for the coin toss. His team wore his number on his helmet. There was a tribute video played on the big screen to commemorate him as a student, teammate and brother. I cried throughout the video as I remembered all the classmates I had lost at Northview.
I remember my mom and sister telling me when Claire Nelson lost her battle with her brain tumor. I remember calling Ana to tell her the news and feeling so helpless when she said "I think I'm just going to go cry now." I wear her pink bracelet every day. I'm wearing it as I write. I remember hearing about the passing of my neighbor Kasey and his friend Beau in a car accident- both students at my school. I remember two classmates passing away in a car accident on their way to Florida for Spring Break. I remember hearing about Michael Gallagher passing away and being an Usher at his funeral at St. Benedict's. I remember Ana and Alex meeting me outside of work one night to tell me Josh Overton had committed suicide. I remember crying in my German class because he wasn't there to make jokes anymore. I remember Molly calling me to tell me of Sheila's car accident. I remember the emergency trip to Adoration in the middle of the night with my close Catholic friends and still getting text updates while we huddled close together in the adoration chapel. I remember thinking I shouldn't be seeing my classmates again so soon after graduation at the funeral. I remember crying while watching Greg speaking about her. I remember getting the text message about Logan finally losing his battle with Leukemia and crying in the bathroom at a party until I could come out and tell my friends what happened.
I knew exactly what that school was going through. I knew that even as much as the school counselors and principal and teachers worked each student would each still have to grieve individually. My heart broke for that school as it broke each time for Northview and my peers. Please keep Coppell high school in your prayers.
On All Saint's Day one of my Catechists lost his son in a car accident in Austin. He was coming home from work very early in the morning and fell asleep while driving. I just went to the funeral this morning because it was held at Holy Spirit. He was only 35 and left behind three children and his fiance. I watched his fiance clutch their 2 month old baby as she could barely walk during the procession because of her grief. I heard his brother read a letter that his elementary school- aged daughter wrote saying he was a great man and it was fitting that he died on All Saints Day. It reminded me of the other deaths in my life. The ones that weren't my classmates.
I remember being 7 years old and my mom calling me upstairs one day in the summer. She told me my friend Ryan Turner had lost his battle to Leukemia. I remember crying in her lap. I remember hearing about John Paul II passing away and I grieved for my church. I remember waking early one morning to the phone in my parents room. I never wake up when it rings but that morning I did. I knew it was the Hospice calling. The next morning I went downstairs for breakfast and my mom told me my grandfather had passed away during the night. I remember saying, " I know." I remember driving home from my work and my mom calling me asking me if I was on my way. I remember coming in the door and her mouthing the words from the top of the stairs. "Uncle Bobby Passed Away." I remember finding out Grant Nelson had passed away. I remember showing his mom Claire's bracelet at his funeral. Reminding her that I still wear it. I still remember. I remember going to Chad's mother's funeral and hearing "Over the Rainbow." I remember.
I'm getting married next summer. Since the age of 15 I have been to 1 wedding and 10 funerals. I am 22 years old.
But I know others have it so much worse than me.
Saturday I took some youth to volunteer at a local cemetery in honor of All Soul's Day. A catechist came with his daughter because two of his grandchildren are buried there. They were twins and lasted less than a few hours on this Earth.
Another Catechist spoke to me on Sunday. He was a refugee from Angola and had not seen his mother since 1975. After searching for her for 37 years he found out last Thursday she had passed away in April of 2008.
I also have many loved ones in the hospital or nursing homes. Death is around me, especially working at a church.
We had our Life Night on Sunday about death. We talked about Purgatory and teens shared their ways of coping with their loss. We had been planing the night for two months but God had been planning the timing for a very long time.
I will continuously pray for everyone affected by death. And for all the souls in purgatory. And for all of you.
Reflection: This whole blogpost was my reflection. I offer up this spot as a prayer.
- Eternal rest, grant unto them O Lord
- and let perpetual light shine upon them
May they rest in peace
- May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed,
- through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
- Amen
- Lesson Learned: Volunteering in the cemetery was a very powerful experience. The employee there was so nice and I was glad I got to wipe the headstones and pick up what little trash there was. It was definitely prayerful.
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