Well, for the third time in my life I have attended two funerals in a week. My coworker passed away a few weeks ago. The day before the funeral I got the news about Greg Canty passing away.
I couldn't believe it. I thought about all the things Greg had taught me. How to let a car merge onto a highway. How to use cruise control. How it's possible to soften a person's aspirated letters with a microphone. How to make an awesome Catholic video. How it's not possible to download a church video on an already burned disc. How it is possible to bring an entire desktop to church to play the video that Devyn thought she had already downloaded... How to make Eiffel Tower pancakes. How to be genuinely smart, crafty and a good person.
It was a shock and I cried when I went to daily Mass that day and heard Psalm 23 as the reading.
I was upset because I was in a place where no one knew Greg and I wasn't with my friends who did. It's hard being out here sometimes.
I didn't think I would be able to make it back to Atlanta for the funeral but thanks to Spirit Airlines I found a cheap enough ticket.
I went to see some friends Friday afternoon and it felt so good to talk to them and just be with some good friends. Driving home from coffee I wasn't sad at all. I was trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe I was excited to talk to some great friends for so long. Maybe I drank too much caffeine. Maybe I was in denial for why i was really back in Johns Creek.
But that evening I finally named the emotion I was feeling. I felt hopeful. I was confused and couldn't understand why. Greg had SO much to give to this world and he was honestly one of the smartest people I know. Why was there all this hope in my heart?
Talking to God that night I felt like he was telling me to bring this hope to the funeral tomorrow. That I could give this hope to the Canty's. That was all I could figure out.
There were so many people at the funeral they even opened up the balcony. I was sad and happy to see so many people from my high school days again. We barely walked into the church in time to get a seat in the back row. Right after I sat down I saw Sheila's family walk in. Her mom burst into tears when she saw how many people were there to celebrate Greg's life. I couldn't believe all of this was happening again.
At the funeral Greg's dad went up at the very beginning to give the Eulogy. It was so moving. Everyone both laughed and cried and at the end he and Greg's two brothers sang the most beautiful Ave Maria I have ever heard. After they all sat down I was confused again. The song showed they had hope in their hearts too. I knew they were absolutely devastated, but they were a family that understood the resurrection. Who was I supposed to bring this hope to?
Suddenly I remembered who was sitting right behind me. Sheila's family. Many times when I'm at church I think of Sheila and how she always made fun of how Catholic's pray! She said it was like we knew "cult prayers" because one person would say one thing and suddenly the entire church is praying in unison! It took her off guard and I still laugh about that because it's kind of true. It's slightly weird when 300+ people suddenly say the exact same thing at the exact same time.
I cried the hardest at Sheila's funeral when Greg went up to talk. My heart broke for him and I couldn't even imagine what he was going through. Fr.Flood offered Greg's funeral Mass up for the soul of Sheila as well. I thought that was beautiful.
I knew Greg a lot better than Sheila but she always made me laugh when we shared a class together. I'll never forget the day my sophomore year boyfriend broke up with me at lunch. Two periods later it seemed the entire school already knew. I walked into my last class of the day and Sheila said, "So Devyn, did you break up with him or was it mutual?" And I said, "um no, he broke up with me." And she said, "Nope, then it was mutual." She said it so matter of fact that I couldn't help but smile. I'll never forget how much that actually made my day better.
I've never spoke to Sheila's family before but I kept thinking about that hope on my heart. I decided during the sign of peace to tell Sheila's family how she always laughed about our prayers. I know they were probably a bit uncomfortable since they are not used to a Catholic Mass and I thought it might make them feel a bit better. The time for the sign of peace came and I hugged the people in my row. Next thing I know I'm with the Eshraghi's holding her mom's hand. I told them how Sheila always laughed at us when she came to Mass with Greg, and how I still think of her often when I'm at church. Her mom was crying and I hugged them and said "Peace be with you" to each of them. I don't know if I brought them any hope, but my heart was no longer sad that day.
I found myself smiling throughout the funeral. Tears came too, but Greg was such an amazing person I knew he was already in Heaven doing the sound system for God. Fr. Flood said at one point, "I know Greg is here with us today." And I thought, "Yup, He's in the sound booth."
When you believe in Heaven death becomes easier and harder at the same time. You feel guilty for being sad because you know that person is in a better place. But you can't feel happy because there is a void in your life. The passing of Greg has left a void in many lives, but we have hope because we believe in a life after death.
Reflection: Northview has lost more than 10 students. The last three have been from the class of 2008. Sheila, you made us laugh. Logan you made us smile (and sometimes roll our eyes!). And Greg, you helped us in so many ways I can't even name them. May they all rest in peace, and may we all rest in hope.
Lesson Learned: Spirit Airlines should only be used as a last resort.
