Those Magical Moments in Youth Ministry

You know those moments when you really get a glimpse into the lives of your teens, and you realize you are making a difference in their lives, and you can see God working through them?

Yeah, those are nice.

Grading Confirmation packets and going through questions from this Sunday has uncovered some great responses I wanted to share with the world.

From Q&A Envelopes:

• "Why do you make this church so boring?"
• "I know it all."

From Confirmation Packets:

What was your favorite thing about the Homily?

• "When it ended."

One thing I noticed about Mass this week was:

• "They had this lady who sang really really loudly."
• "One of the altar servers passed out."

What scripture passage or prayer does this service activity/ project call to mind for you?

• "Hell Marin"

When have you seen the gift of Knowledge shown in your family?

• "When we sit down and eat."

Write or draw a time when you made a decision that showed that you used the "Gift of Right Judgement"

• "I never made a right judgement but I'm working on it."
• "My cat is overweight so I decided to give her healthier food."

How did you grow in faith as a result of this service?

• "We stayed the same."

Throw in a picture of a "Super Derpy" galaxy and pictures of rabbits showing Fear of the Lord you have a whole bunch of packets that truly show an understanding of the Holy Spirit!

Reflection: One thing I did notice was how many of the teens listed seeing babies as a time they were amazed in awe of life.  More than half the teens said this!  Reading this gives me great hope for the pro-life future.

Lesson Learned: The best parts about homilies are when they end. 

Catholic School Guilt

I took a 7 month hiatus from this blog... I'll be honest, I just didn't feel like writing much throughout the spring and I was so busy this summer it was easy to dismiss.  Since the last blog post I have finished a complete year of youth ministry, took my teens on Alive in You and got married! It's been an exciting time, although it still get a little sad when I read the last post.

I decided to write again today because of something so many people have been saying recently.  Parents, co-workers, friends, people on the internet... I can't tell you how many times recently I have heard the phrase, "I really wish I could have sent my kids to Catholic School, but I just couldn't."  And then they get this horrible guilty face and start explaining, "we had four kids, we lived far away, money was tight..." As if they did some terrible thing to their children for not sending them to private school.

I'll say right now that Catholic school is awesome.  I know that from knowing so many people that attended them.   I've met and admired so many people from Blessed Trinity, Marist, St. Pius, Pinecrest, Bishop Dunne, Cistercian... etc. etc. etc. I think that the amount of emphasis the Catholic Church puts on education is extraordinary.  It's beautiful how much people really care about the youth of the church and their schooling.  Catholic School Teachers are outstanding and talking to some at my youth ministry functions really inspire me.

But it's not the end of the world if your kid does not get to experience that.  That's why my job exists!

I've been saying so much of my adult life that if I went to Catholic School, I don't think I would be Catholic today.  That surprises a lot of people because you know how obsessed I am with being Catholic!  But I'm someone who has to be different from everyone else.  I wore a water bottle on my head in high school.  I made jewelry out of bottle caps and trash. I still haven't read Harry Potter because too many other people have already.  It's a curse, I have to be different wherever I go.  When I lived in Georgia I clung to being a New England fan and reminding everyone I was born in California.  Now that I'm in Texas I cling to all that is Atlanta.  I'm not myself unless I'm being unique.

I don't think my faith could have flourished unless I was constantly challenged by my classmates at Northview.  I wanted to be the "token Catholic" in all of my classes, especially when in the Religion program at UGA.  I don't do well in a place where everyone agrees with me.

I know plenty of diverse Catholic schools and I know I could have had a great experience at one.  But I don't know if my peers could have challenged me like my peers at my public high school.  I remember wanting to punch someone who was a loud pro-choice voice in one of my classes (sorry to admit it!) I remember not having a topic for my persuasive speech in AP Lang and when I looked at the sign-up sheet I saw someone was speaking about how organized religion was not necessary for a faith life. I immediately wrote my topic down, "Why organized religion is necessary."  I remember the look on my Dad's face when he came home and saw I had put 7 pro-life bumper stickers on my car.  He came upstairs and said, "since when did the pro-life Gestapo move in?"  It propelled me to be that much more active (sorry Daddy!).

Let's be honest- we all know someone who got burnt out from Catholic School and left the church for awhile.  My own mom did.  But when she came back to the church the best thing she did was sign my sister and me up for CCD.  Because I think any Catholic school principal will tell you- belonging to a Church is much more important than belonging to a school. My faith life flourished when my mom taught me as a Catechist on Wednesday nights or for a week in the summer.  Seeing HER put the effort into caring for my spirituality and the spirituality of my classmates really made a difference. She helped start  CHAMPS for 4th and 5th graders and signed me up for activities all through middle school at the church. YMCA  lock-ins and silly dinners told me that the church was an awesome place to hang out and make friends while still learning so much about my faith.

My faith life really exploded when I got into High School Youth Ministry.  Everyone there inspired me.  I had such a strong example of holy people right at my home parish.  These were the people I looked up to.  These were the people that motivated me to talk to God, go on retreats, be pro-life, be chaste and start to take a leadership position in my youth group.  These were the people that changed my life and kept me Catholic.

That's where I found my religion: my church! I know, minds are blown.


If you live in an area with bad public schools and have the opportunity to send your kids to Catholic school than I say do it.  If you were totally changed by your private school experience and want that for your kids I think that's awesome.  But no one will judge you if you don't.  Or if they do judge you, I don't believe God will.

I believe that God knows what's best for everyone, especially our youth.  Some kids need the structure and stability of a religious school.  Some kids will rebel from every aspect of it.  Do not feel guilty if you didn't send your kids to Catholic School.  Faith life 1. Starts at home and 2. Can flourish anywhere in everyday life.  You have not failed your family if your child graduates with a secular diploma.  I don't know where I would be in life if I didn't have one.


Reflection: If I was forced to wear a uniform I think I would have come to school with crazy jewelry or unusual socks or SOMETHING to make me different.  I did wear skirts over jeans my freshman year... maybe I would have rocked that look with my plaid skirt.

Lesson Learned: Wanting to listen to Ludacris is hard when you work at a church...

Resting in Hope

Well, for the third time in my life I have attended two funerals in a week.  My coworker passed away a few weeks ago.  The day before the funeral I got the news about Greg Canty passing away.

I couldn't believe it.  I thought about all the things Greg had taught me.  How to let a car merge onto a highway.  How to use cruise control.  How it's possible to soften a person's aspirated letters with a microphone.  How to make an awesome Catholic video. How it's not possible to download a church video on an already burned disc.  How it is possible to bring an entire desktop to church to play the video that Devyn thought she had already downloaded... How to make Eiffel Tower pancakes. How to be genuinely smart, crafty and a good person.

It was a shock and I cried when I went to daily Mass that day and heard Psalm 23 as the reading.

I was upset because I was in a place where no one knew Greg and I wasn't with my friends who did.  It's hard being out here sometimes.

I didn't think I would be able to make it back to Atlanta for the funeral but thanks to Spirit Airlines I found a cheap enough ticket.

I went to see some friends Friday afternoon and it felt so good to talk to them and just be with some good friends.  Driving home from coffee I wasn't sad at all.  I was trying to figure out what was going on.  Maybe I was excited to talk to some great friends for so long.  Maybe I drank too much caffeine.  Maybe I was in denial for why i was really back in Johns Creek.

But that evening I finally named the emotion I was feeling.  I felt hopeful.  I was confused and couldn't understand why.  Greg had SO much to give to this world and he was honestly one of the smartest people I know.  Why was there all this hope in my heart?
Talking to God that night I felt like he was telling me to bring this hope to the funeral tomorrow.  That I could give this hope to the Canty's.  That was all I could figure out.

There were so many people at the funeral they even opened up the balcony.  I was sad and happy to see so many people from my high school days again.  We barely walked into the church in time to get a seat in the back row.  Right after I sat down I saw Sheila's family walk in.  Her mom burst into tears when she saw how many people were there to celebrate Greg's life.  I couldn't believe all of this was happening again.

At the funeral Greg's dad went up at the very beginning to give the Eulogy.  It was so moving.  Everyone both laughed and cried and at the end he and Greg's two brothers sang the most beautiful Ave Maria I have ever heard.  After they all sat down I was confused again.  The song showed they had hope in their hearts too.  I knew they were absolutely devastated, but they were a family that understood the resurrection.  Who was I supposed to bring this hope to?

Suddenly I remembered who was sitting right behind me.  Sheila's family.  Many times when I'm at church I think of Sheila and how she always made fun of how Catholic's pray! She said it was like we knew "cult prayers" because one person would say one thing and suddenly the entire church is praying in unison!  It took her off guard and I still laugh about that because it's kind of true.  It's slightly weird when 300+ people suddenly say the exact same thing at the exact same time.

I cried the hardest at Sheila's funeral when Greg went up to talk.  My heart broke for him and I couldn't even imagine what he was going through.  Fr.Flood offered Greg's funeral Mass up for the soul of Sheila as well.  I thought that was beautiful.

I knew Greg a lot better than Sheila but she always made me laugh when we shared a class together.  I'll never forget the day my sophomore year boyfriend broke up with me at lunch.  Two periods later it seemed the entire school already knew.  I walked into my last class of the day and Sheila said, "So Devyn, did you break up with him or was it mutual?" And I said, "um no, he broke up with me." And she said, "Nope, then it was mutual."  She said it so matter of fact that I couldn't help but smile.  I'll never forget how much that actually made my day better.

I've never spoke to Sheila's family before but I kept thinking about that hope on my heart.  I decided during the sign of peace to tell Sheila's family how she always laughed about our prayers.  I know they were probably a bit uncomfortable since they are not used to a Catholic Mass and I thought it might make them feel a bit better.  The time for the sign of peace came and I hugged the people in my row. Next thing I know I'm with the Eshraghi's holding her mom's hand.  I told them how Sheila always laughed at us when she came to Mass with Greg, and how I still think of her often when I'm at church.  Her mom was crying and I hugged them and said "Peace be with you" to each of them.  I don't know if I brought them any hope, but my heart was no longer sad that day.

I found myself smiling throughout the funeral.  Tears came too, but Greg was such an amazing person I knew he was already in Heaven doing the sound system for God.  Fr. Flood said at one point, "I know Greg is here with us today." And I thought, "Yup, He's in the sound booth."

When you believe in Heaven death becomes easier and harder at the same time.  You feel guilty for being sad because you know that person is in a better place. But you can't feel happy because there is a void in your life.  The passing of Greg has left a void in many lives, but we have hope because we believe in a life after death.

Reflection: Northview has lost more than 10 students.  The last three have been from the class of 2008. Sheila, you made us laugh.  Logan you made us smile (and sometimes roll our eyes!).  And Greg, you helped us in so many ways I can't even name them.  May they all rest in peace, and may we all rest in hope.

Lesson Learned: Spirit Airlines should only be used as a last resort.

January!

January was a great month!

I took my teens to the March for Life in Washington DC.  We marched with over 650,000 other people against abortion.  The news media ignored most of it but we made our presence known that day.  Especially since most people marching were teenagers and young adults.  There is great hope in our Pro-Life generation!

This weekend I visited Justin in San Antonio.  We had fun just hanging around his campus.  I miss being on a meal plan and having so much food available to you without having to cook it.  I'm way too lazy.

Sunday night the 49ers broke my heart and lost their first Superbowl.  Now we are 5/6 for Superbowls.  But I am a fan through thick and thin!

Reflection:  I had an awesome time throughout the DC trip but I felt uneasy a lot.  I was tense at times and more worried than usual.  On the way home I reflected on it and I realized it was because it was not my trip. The previous youth minister started this and I was excited about it and kept it going.  But this was my first time taking the group somewhere that I did not plan myself (besides CHWC, but I was 2 weeks into the job anyway...) I felt tense because it wasn't my trip and I felt I didn't have enough control.  But God worked with me and he gave me an awesome group and a great set of volunteers.  I will continue to March each year on DC and hopefully I will be able to let God take control more often.

Lesson Learned: Justin Buschow likes to sing the song from Top Gun to my kitty.

Good things are happening!

Cool things that have happened since my last post:

1. I did a poinsettia fundraiser at my church and we raised over $2000!
2. I went home for my birthday and Christmas and got to see a lot of awesome people
3. Dorian and my bridesmaids threw me a wedding shower!
4. Justin and I got to spend our fourth New Year's Eve together!  That is the one holiday where we are always together.
5. We did a life night on the Death Penalty and it turned out awesome.  We even made prayer booklets for prisoners to continue our service projects based on the Corporal Works of Mercy.
6. I got a kitty and she is the cutest thing ever!! Her name is Cookie but her full name is Cookie Dough Crisp Monster Godzilla Ice Cream Scheuch.
7. UGA won their bowl game.

Cookie loves sitting on my laptop.  So far she has flipped my screen upside down, changed the language on microsoft word to Chinese, opened random search boxes and changed the settings in Chrome.  Way to go Kitty!

Reflection: I love traveling, especially flying.  I always feel closer to God in a plane.  Maybe we really are closer to Heaven when we fly...

Lesson Learned:  Texas does not sell fireworks.  Therefore, when you go to Kroger and buy what you think are fireworks they will just be a bunch of confetti poppers.  And boys will throw the poppers all over your apartment.  Then they will go outside and try to burn them anyway.  Then they will start playing with matches.  Then you will have to hide the matches in your underwear drawer so they don't burn your apartment down. And that's what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.

Georgiarlington

And just like that a month has flown by.  I did write another blog but I just didn't post it.  I felt it was too much of a rant to share with everyone right now.

I'm still recovering from the Dawgs losing on Saturday.  The worst part is when you are a Georgia fan in Texas people won't stop talking to you about the game.  I know we lost.  Thanks for your condolences but we can stop talking about it now.  Thanks.

To cheer me up on Monday I had a "let's see how many Georgian things I can do in Arlington, TX."

Here was my day:

Outfit: UGA shirt and sweatpants

Lunch: Sushi and Bubble Tea (so happy I live near a college campus with Asians!) That was my Johns Korea fix!

Afternoon: Listened to music about Georgia while doing a puzzle of Sanford stadium.  I also watched Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Great Georgia Music Website

There are so many more songs than I realized! I also listend to REM to get my Athens fix.

Puzzle and Bubble Tea!

Dinner: WAHO.  I always feel rich at Waffle House because I like to tip 100%.  That's normally less than $5 but I still feel pretty epic.

That was my Georgia Day! I took Monday off to recover from the weekend.  I did a homeless sleepout with my teens on Saturday night and then we collected coats all morning! I got about 2 hours of sleep that night.  In a box.  But the weather was really nice so we were kind of spoiled!

Reflection:  So I got my Sushi at a Kroger that I had never been to before.  There is a Kroger less than a mile away from my apartment that I usually go to.  The vegetables always look bad, the selection of fruit is poor, the store looks old and the most colorful thing there are the people that come in!  The Kroger I went to on Monday was less than 2 miles in the other direction.  It was very new, very clean and was much larger.  The fruit selection was amazing and the store had a bunch of bright colors in it and so many options!  The one problem: everyone shopping there looked like me.  What are the differences between these two stores? Why can't we offer a better selection of fruits and vegetables in the store that is closer to where the minorities live?  What made that "Kroger Signature" the white people store?  It just shocked me a little.  I wish we could mix the two stores.  I wish the first store could have a better selection of fresh produce and I wish the second store could have a better variety of people!

Lesson Learned: I can't fool anyone. Yesterday I went to confession at a penance service we had here.  After confessing my sins the priest (who I have never met before) said, "So, you're someone with a really active personality.  You always think ahead.  You are very future oriented and you're sitting here thinking about what comes next and what you're going to do after you're done with this."  I guess I'm easy to analyze because that was pretty spot-on!

All Souls

Be prepared: This is going to be a sad blogpost.  There has been a lot of talk about death around me recently.  I guess it is fitting because of All Soul's Day



Have you ever sat in a football stadium during a moment of silence where it actually got deadly quiet?  I have.  Two weeks in a row.  A football player from a nearby high school drowned jumping off a cliff a few weeks ago and his friend killed himself the next day.  I was at their first home game after it happened, cheering on the other team.  His sister wore his uniform and walked out with the captains for the coin toss.  His team wore his number on his helmet.  There was a tribute video played on the big screen to commemorate him as a student, teammate and brother.  I cried throughout the video as I remembered all the classmates I had lost at Northview.

I remember my mom and sister telling me when Claire Nelson lost her battle with her brain tumor.  I remember calling Ana to tell her the news and feeling so helpless when she said "I think I'm just going to go cry now." I wear her pink bracelet every day.  I'm wearing it as I write. I remember hearing about the passing of my neighbor Kasey and his friend Beau in a car accident- both students at my school.  I remember two classmates passing away in a car accident on their way to Florida for Spring Break.  I remember hearing about Michael Gallagher passing away and being an Usher at his funeral at St. Benedict's.  I remember Ana and Alex meeting me outside of work one night to tell me Josh Overton had committed suicide.  I remember crying in my German class because he wasn't there to make jokes anymore.  I remember Molly calling me to tell me of Sheila's car accident.  I remember the emergency trip to Adoration in the middle of the night with my close Catholic friends and still getting text updates while we huddled close together in the adoration chapel.  I remember thinking I shouldn't be seeing my classmates again so soon after graduation at the funeral.  I remember crying while watching Greg speaking about her. I remember getting the text message about Logan finally losing his battle with Leukemia and crying in the bathroom at a party until I could come out and tell my friends what happened.

I knew exactly what that school was going through.  I knew that even as much as the school counselors and principal and teachers worked each student would each still have to grieve individually.  My heart broke for that school as it broke each time for Northview and my peers.  Please keep Coppell high school in your prayers.

On All Saint's Day one of my Catechists lost his son in a car accident in Austin.  He was coming home from work very early in the morning and fell asleep while driving.  I just went to the funeral this morning because it was held at Holy Spirit.  He was only 35 and left behind three children and his fiance.  I watched his fiance clutch their 2 month old baby as she could barely walk during the procession because of her grief.  I heard his brother read a letter that his elementary school- aged daughter wrote saying he was a great man and it was fitting that he died on All Saints Day.  It reminded me of the other deaths in my life.  The ones that weren't my classmates.

I remember being 7 years old and my mom calling me upstairs one day in the summer.  She told me my friend Ryan Turner had lost his battle to Leukemia.  I remember crying in her lap.  I remember hearing about John Paul II passing away and I grieved for my church.  I remember waking early one morning to the phone in my parents room.  I never wake up when it rings but that morning I did.  I knew it was the Hospice calling.  The next morning I went downstairs for breakfast and my mom told me my grandfather had passed away during the night.  I remember saying, " I know."  I remember driving home from my work and my mom calling me asking me if I was on my way.  I remember coming in the door and her mouthing the words from the top of the stairs.  "Uncle Bobby Passed Away."  I remember finding out Grant Nelson had passed away.  I remember showing his mom Claire's bracelet at his funeral.  Reminding her that I still wear it.  I still remember.  I remember going to Chad's mother's funeral and hearing "Over the Rainbow."  I remember.

I'm getting married next summer.  Since the age of 15 I have been to 1 wedding and 10 funerals. I am 22 years old.

But I know others have it so much worse than me.

Saturday I took some youth to volunteer at a local cemetery in honor of All Soul's Day.  A catechist came with his daughter because two of his grandchildren are buried there.  They were twins and lasted less than a few hours on this Earth.

Another Catechist spoke to me on Sunday.  He was a refugee from Angola and had not seen his mother since 1975.  After searching for her for 37 years he found out last Thursday she had passed away in April of 2008.

I also have many loved ones in the hospital or nursing homes.  Death is around me, especially working at a church.

We had our Life Night on Sunday about death. We talked about Purgatory and teens shared their ways of coping with their loss.  We had been planing the night for two months but God had been planning the timing for a very long time.

I will continuously pray for everyone affected by death. And for all the souls in purgatory.  And for all of you.


Reflection:  This whole blogpost was my reflection.  I offer up this spot as a prayer.

Eternal rest, grant unto them O Lord 

and let perpetual light shine upon them

May they rest in peace 

May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen

Lesson Learned: Volunteering in the cemetery was a very powerful experience.  The employee there was so nice and I was glad I got to wipe the headstones and pick up what little trash there was.  It was definitely prayerful.